As a professional marketer, I was quick to recognise the power of social media in general and Twitter and Facebook in particular.

But here’s the thing…

To me, Facebook is a tool: a means to connect with prospective buyers, sellers and trading partners. And, maybe, a handy way to catch up with old friends (real ones; as in: people I’ve actually met!).

And that’s it.

Increasingly, however, it is also being used as a platform for multi-player gaming. And that’s fine too. But it’s not for me.

Which means the myriad messages I receive daily – inviting me to join otherwise intelligent adults in their quests to become virtual farmers, crime bosses and (most recently) gnome kings – are about as welcome as a student protester at a British Legion AGM.

To paraphrase the late, great Frank Zappa: if it makes you happy, and it doesn’t cause a murder, have at it! But please: don’t involve me in your insanity.

Fact is, if I wanted to run a farm, I’d buy land. If I wanted to head up a crime syndicate, I’d move to Sicily.

And if I’d wanted to become a gnome king… well, I’m not sure exactly what I’d do. But I imagine it would involve Huxley-esque quantities of recreational narcotics.

Oh, and if I wanted more friends, I’d go to the pub.